


It's Hard To Breathe Sometimes

by AproposOfInsomnia



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Whump, Post Merrick Breakdown, big sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26311138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AproposOfInsomnia/pseuds/AproposOfInsomnia
Summary: Nicky has a rough night shortly after getting back from the labs luckily he has Joe and a caring family
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 210





	It's Hard To Breathe Sometimes

It was hazy, caught somewhere between night and morning, the first rays of sunlight just beginning to claw their way over the horizon. Nicky should have been asleep hours ago, his eyes gritty and heavy lidded, yet he found himself watching the curtain float in the breeze. Joe’s breath felt too warm on his neck and seemed to echo through his ears in a way that set his teeth grinding together. Even his arm felt like a titanium weight over his waist. Guilt began to bubble the longer he lay there and he squeezed his eyes shut in a futile attempt to ward it off. His throat clicked dryly and he finally forced heavy limbs into motion, pulling himself into a sitting position. As he moved Joe’s hand fell to land over his lap, long fingers lax and curling gently. He found himself smiling slightly at the sight before a split second image of those same fingers bruised, bloody, and broken flashed through his mind. Nausea, a somewhat foreign feeling, lanced through his gut and he stumbled out of bed. 

The creaking floor of the hallway felt like thunderclaps in their loudness as he tripped toward the bathroom. Tears blurred his vision and his heart suddenly felt like it was trying to pound through his chest. He landed heavily on his knees in front of the toilet as the world began to warp around his head. Air felt like a luxury he could no longer afford as his stomach spasmed and his limbs began to shake so hard he fell to the ground. Footsteps sounded from somewhere in the house and he flung himself at the door with a desperate cry. The lock felt too small in clumsy fingers, the bolt finding home with a sound not entirely discernible from a gunshot. 

Sobs poured from deep in his chest as he fell back, the tile freezing his tailbone in a way that made him squirm. He could heat fists pounding on the wood over his head through the roaring in his ears, each hit feeling like it was striking directly into his brain. A strangled scream was the only response he could give as he crawled as far away as he could. He waned to explain, to tell them he was okay and not to be scared. He always hated when his family was afraid. The image of Joe’s face, skin ashen and eyes wide with horror, was soon joined by Andy’s, then Nile’s, even Booker’s until he was choking on apologies in every language he knew, his knees against his chest, rocking as though that would shake the picture free. Coughing soon overtook the words and before long he was back over the toilet, vomiting. Whimpers filled the room as he heaved, a sliver of clarity coming with each one. 

By the time he was finished, curled back against the side of the bath he could hear a voice through the door and he clung to it as he wrestled his body under control. It was Joe, he would know it anywhere under any circumstance even if what he was saying lost to the persistent fog. Though the worst of it seemed to be over everything still felt off. He felt simultaneously like a statue and a feather caught in a windstorm and he found himself unable to do anything more than stare at a minuscule spot just by the mirror where the wallpaper had been ripped away. He had never noticed it before. Joe sounded worried and he longed to comfort him, but even as the thought hammered behind his eyes he couldn’t bring himself to get up. More tears welled up, though it was different, clearer. A headache followed shortly thereafter and, like a switch had been flipped, he suddenly wanted nothing more than to bury his face in Joe’s chest and forget everything that had happened. 

His body quivered as he stretched for the doorknob. It opened barely a centimeter before he saw Joe, sat against the far wall with his hands white knuckled over crossed legs and a soft smile that didn’t come close to touching his eyes. A whine cracked through the air the moment they made eye contact and before he could think of what he was doing he was bolting as fast as his hands and knees could carry him into the warmth of his love’s lap. Joe didn’t need a warning, his arms open and ready to guide his head under his chin and hold him as tight and as long as he needed. There was a light on in the living room and if he strained his ears he could hear Andy and Nile chatting quietly, pretending to mind their own business. He huffed something close to a laugh at the thought before nuzzling his nose into Joe’s neck with a heavy sigh. 

“Hello, my love,” Joe’s voice was as soft and sweet as water after days without. 

He didn’t try to say anything else, knowing that wasn’t what was needed. Instead he let Nicky pull himself closer until there was nowhere they didn't touch and rubbed a comforting hand down his spine as he continued to shake. It was a long time before they moved, dragging themselves into the kitchen for a much needed glass of water. There they found Andy attempting to teach Nile some mostly forgotten card game or another over full cups of coffee they didn’t seem to notice weren’t steaming anymore. Andy stood the moment they entered and pulled them both into a fierce hug, her hand squeezing the back of Nicky’s neck even after she pulled away. Nile was more subtle in her affection, simply bumping her shoulder into his with a wide smile. They didn’t stay for long, Nicky’s body sagging against Joe’s shoulder as an overwhelming tiredness settled over him. By the time they made it back to their bed he was dead on his feet and barely able to do anything more than press a kiss to Joe’s neck and mouth his gratitude against his pulse as he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if there are anything I did wrong/missed or if you just wanna shout in the comments lol


End file.
